


It's Fitting

by TheReviewess



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Character Study, F/F, Self-Sacrifice, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-09 01:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11658909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheReviewess/pseuds/TheReviewess
Summary: It's fitting, she thinks, that this is where it happens.Nyssa's journey to the path of light.





	It's Fitting

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: I literally wrote this in about 50 minutes and it was very sad because I am very sad. And angsty. You have been warned. 
> 
> I am so sorry for this though. But it wouldn't get out if my head.
> 
> This is like, the shortest thing I've written in a long time and I'm honestly a little shocked.
> 
> Completely unedited. Just a speed writing.

It's fitting, she thinks, that this is where it happens. Lian Yu. The island which brought her Sara. The blonde woman who showed Nyssa what it is like to love. The woman who showed Nyssa that love is the strongest of emotions, not hate. Not anger, or rage. But love. Love which brings the strength of a hundred men.

It is because of the blonde, that Nyssa learns, a life without love, is not really living. It is only surviving. Because of Sara, Nyssa learns she wants more to life than just surviving. She desires the passion, that comes from late night kisses and the rough lovemaking in the early hours of the night. The tender touches that come at dawn, before the day begins. Those longing glances cast between the two during a long training session that gradually builds into sexual tension so thick, Nyssa knows she could cut it with her blade. Because in those moments, those tender, sweet, passionate, loving moments, Nyssa knows nothing can bring her down. Nothing can ruin a love so wondrous.

And yes, there is pain. And suffering. So much of it, to be exact. Because one cannot have all of the good, and none of the bad. There are times when the passion turns into heated fights, with screaming for all to hear. When the tender touches become hesitant, when gently cleaning a wound that the other gave. And the longing glances are not filled with sexual tension, but sadness, or betrayal. But there is still love. It is evident in all these, though many cannot see it.

They fight so passionately because they care, because they worry for the other. Their touches hesitant because they worry of boundaries being crossed, and they do not wish to hurt the other. More than they already have, they realize. The longing glances, while one may feel betrayed, or sad, the other is apologetic. They feel the pain from the pain they caused the other, and neither of them can live with that for too long. They love each other in the end, and so the pain and suffering never just that. There is still love.

Nyssa knows she has very little experience in love. She did not grow up with love, she was not exposed to it as a child. By the time Nyssa learns of love, it is when she is an adult, molded by pain, suffering, anger, and death. She is the epitome of darkness, and she knows this. She is a woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders, but Sara takes that all away from her. For a brief moment. She allows Nyssa to surrender herself, and Sara holds the weight of the world on her own shoulders, so Nyssa might have a break.

Love is difficult for Nyssa, but Sara always reassures her. Alone, Sara lets Nyssa be Nyssa. She praises her, worships her, loves her in a way that no other has ever done. And Nyssa loves it.

But even here, Nyssa still knows she is the darkness. And every time she surrenders to her little bird, the light that is her soul takes on a little more darkness. So when Nyssa awakens to see the letter saying that even her bright little bird cannot take the darkness, Nyssa falls.

And falls.

And falls.

And then she picks herself up again.

In her grief, Nyssa admits she does things she is not proud of. Dark things. But darkness is all she has ever known.

Yet, Sara comes back. Because she knows she has hurt Nyssa. And Nyssa knows she has hurt Sara in her grief. In those moments, their passionate fighting, returns to the passionate lovemaking. Hesitant touches become tender and loving once the other finds their release. And longing apologetic glances turn into staring into each other's eyes for hours. They spend their time declaring their love in as many ways as they can think. And everything seems okay.

Until she dies.

She's dead.

Gone.

And all Nyssa wants is to say I love you one more time.

She does. At her grave. And Laurel, her sister, interrupts that. In her grief, Nyssa lashes out. Like she always does. But she is the darkness. She cannot help that.

And yet. She does.

Or rather, Laurel helps her. Laurel becomes her first friend. And friends help friends. Nyssa trains Laurel, and Laurel helps her.

It takes time, but Laurel helps put her on the path of the light. It isn't just Laurel, though. It is John Diggle, Felicity Smoak, Thea Queen, and even Quentin Lance (who opens his home to Nyssa on a rainy night) who help guide her to the light. Even after everything she has done to them, they help guide her to the light. Oliver Queen helps too, though he does owe her after forcing her to marry him and giving away her birthright. She is immensely grateful that the marriage was never consummated, but she does have an inexplicable urge to deck the man from time to time. The others say it is normal, though.

So while Nyssa stews, she finds herself returning to the darkness, only to find that she really is not so dark. A Nyssa completely submerged in the darkness would have murdered Malcolm Merlyn swiftly before the entire League to regain what was taken from her. A Nyssa submerged in darkness would have stopped Laurel and Thea from bringing back Sara by all means necessary.

A Nyssa submerged in darkness would have taken back Sara instead of letting her go to live in the light.

So when Nyssa finds herself on Lian Yu again. She finds she is no longer the woman molded by pain, suffering, anger, and death. Yes, they are a part of her, but she finds that she has new parts.

Friendship. Duty. And love.

Despite her initial dislike of Oliver Queen, she comes to call him a friend. Aside from her Sara, he understands her the best. And he subtly puts her on the path to becoming the woman she wants to be. A woman of the light.

And so, she thinks it's fitting, that this is where it happens. As she shoves Slade away from the falling rocks, she can't help but smile.

“Get them to the bunker,” she yells to him as she pushes him away. “Keep them safe!”

"Not without you!"

It's too late, though.

It's fitting, she thinks, that the island that gave her life, should take her life.

And even as the rocks crush her body, she smiles and thinks of her blonde little bird and her light blue eyes. She smiles because in the moment, she is a woman of the light.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry fam. This happened because let's be real, the writers are probably going to kill of Nyssa. Also Nyssa is one of the few characters that hasn't been confirmed for s6, so they probably killed her. (Though I just looked on the Wikia so that could be wrong)... 
> 
> Yay dead lesbians.
> 
> Not.
> 
> So, when I discovered that, this popped up in my head and I just started writing. But, if it makes you feel better, I have another thing that I'm writing that makes Nyssa live. And Sara comes to the rescue. So that's a thing. Though Nyssa has a whole slew of issues in that but we don't need to get into that because Sara saves her. So look out for that in a few weeks.
> 
> Uh, anyone who keeps up with my A/B/O series, I have chapter one of the next story ready to go. I'm just working on the second one before I post it.
> 
> Peace!


End file.
